We are all blessed to experience a brief but beautiful existence on this rock called Earth that defies logic by traveling roughly 67,000 miles per hour through ever expanding nothingness. Hopefully we all will experience love, help a stranger, conquer a fear, forgive a person and ourselves, volunteer, accomplish something meaningful, find purpose, laugh often and enjoy all other aspects of life and what it has to offer.
Though life brings a multitude of beautiful things, it is also important to accept that life is unfair at times. Life will always bring us challenges and no matter how we insulate ourselves, a storm will inevitably come. But just like all storms, calm seas and bluer skies will appear and this too shall pass. As a storm or challenge presents itself, we need to widen the lens of life and try not to make that storm the center of our focus. The meaning behind that statement is, if we pay attention to a problem for too long, we tend to lose focus on all the good things in life. When we widen the lens, we aren’t invalidating the issue, we are just removing it as the center of our universe. We must widen our lens to see the good that surrounds our challenges.
Thanks to evolutionary biology we are designed to focus on the negative and constantly scan for threats, because tens of thousands of years ago, threats posed a significant danger to our existence. Though we exist in modern times with the luxuries of everyday living, we are still designed to scan for threats (real or imagined), and those threats metabolize into anxiety. By understanding evolutionary biology, anxiety, depression, grief and heartbreak will still come for us all, but it’s up us to widen the lens of life and notice the good things during the challenging times of our lives.
I often apply visuals and allegories while facilitating groups or meeting with individuals. Here is a visual that seems to connect for many: Let’s begin a journey of walking in a northerly direction. It doesn’t matter how long we traverse; we could walk for the rest of our lives and would never reach north. Absolute North does not exist – we would just walk in a northerly direction for as long as we moved.
That same scenario applies to happiness, because there is no absolute happiness, it’s just our job to walk towards happiness as often as possible. As I stated above, a storm will come – that’s a given. But when your moral compass is pointing true North, and you apply these core values and beliefs, begin to challenge negative thinking, reframe in the positive, and apply coping and mindfulness techniques, the symptoms of anxiety, depression and grief will be more manageable.
Listed below are several helpful suggestions, traits and behaviors that will assist us on our journey towards happiness. Now dust off your moral compass and begin your expedition!
Walk: Literally start walking on your journey towards happiness. Evolutionary biology provides us with information that we were not designed to be sedentary. There are innumerable health benefits linked to movement. If you can, take your shoes off and walk barefoot on the grass or beach. Recent studies have shown the benefits of getting connected with the Earth. The bottom of our shoes are made from rubber, and rubber repels, so much so that the tires on our cars will protect us from lightning strikes. Though comfortable, the soles of our shoes repel the connectivity from the Earth to our souls.
Reframe: Reflect on a current situation that is causing distress in your life and look at it from a positive, more productive angle. It is important to remember that you are reframing for your benefit, not the individual or situation you are reframing.
Coping: There are hundreds of coping techniques, all completely different, yet all just as equally important to the individual. These range from yoga, gardening, painting, walking, listening to music, showering or taking a bath, talking to a supportive family member or friend, or even rearranging furniture. Find the coping techniques that best suit you and apply then when you can.
Mindfulness: Take your shoes off and walk barefoot, focus on the soles of your feet and how the surface of the Earth feels. If your mind wonders off, gently bring it back to the here and now, and the here and now is the feeling of the Earth on the soles of your feet. Remember, we are all part of nature.
As we begin our journey of walking towards happiness, please realize that it might be two steps forward, and one step back. That’s ok. Allow yourself time to process events and your feelings; just keep walking towards happiness and show yourself some grace during these trying times.
If you would like a more in-depth view of these core principles, feel free to read my other post titled Best Self or connect with me to begin your journey.